#i can always feel it coming on
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the wandering painter, part one
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#artists on tumblr#illustration#animated illustration#animation#backgrounds#animated gifs#background illustration#myillust#landscape#plants#scenery#summer#hiii! just wanted to share an artwork i made that's super fresh from the oven ksfknsf#'the wandering painter' will be a series that consists of artworks that has elements that i struggle to draw and am trying to improve on!#ive always really struggled with the process of painting (for example) clouds fields grass grasslands flowers etc#despite the end result coming out satisfactory imo but i cant deny that it most of the time feels like a fluke#so this series would consist of my journey of improving how to draw said elements/areas more confidently :D#this artwork in particular - i studied and practiced how to paint/draw silver grass better along with grasses and clouds#i feel like im sorta getting the hang of it but theres definitely room to study and experiment how i can paint it better#so yeah! nonetheless i really hope you'll like this! and i hope you'll have a lovely day/night ahead <3333
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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Have you seen my little lad?
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin zixun#Everytime I have to write his name I feel like I'm running outside in a blood rain trying not to get wet. Misspelling it feels so inevitabl#But so far so good! He doesn't have too many more appearances before he gets Cheesed.#Dear god I love it when characters go on the war path for someone they care about.#And I love it even more when you have an ambiguity between personal debt and genuine act of selflessness.#WWX saving WN is purposefully messy! Like a lot of our real life reasons for how we act - there isn't a clear single cause or answer.#Sometimes we forget that we are a collection of experiences and learnt reactions.#Sometimes we forget that what we see on the surface is not the point to address. Everyone is more complex than we think. Even yourself.#And yet...it always comes back to love doesn't it? Attachment styles and self-esteem and bonds and relationships to others.#Everything comes back to love and our perceptions of it.#WWX is on a self-destructive war path and he will absorb as much damage as he can for those he feels obligated and attached to.#Does it make him feel needed? Does it give him purpose? Does it ease anxieties of the past? I do not think there is an answer.
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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this game breaks my heart…..! 💔
#mouthwashing#wrong organ#mouthwashing spoilers#mouthwashing fanart#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#garliicdraws#last slide is not meant to be romantic it’s like… entwined with my own experience i suppose#with a dear friend#sometimes u gotta use characters to come to terms with some pretty terrible things!#tw blood#cw pills#cw gore#also kind of funny how i am really hesitant to post the last image it’s very personal but maybe if someone got any catharsis out of smth#stupid i’ve made i can feel satisfied. and that’s what art is right? i guess to share your deep feelings and not always hide from them or#from others
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I find the fact that the confrontation at the end of UTRH is often summarized as Jason asking Bruce to kill the Joker for him fascinating.
Because that's not what happened.
Jason holds a gun up to Joker's head, gives Bruce another, and tells him that if Bruce doesn't do something (shoot Jason), he will kill Joker.
Jason doesn't give the gun to Bruce so that he would shoot Joker. He isn't expecting Bruce to pull the trigger on the clown. He's asking Bruce to do nothing. To be inactive. Because that will still be a choice, and despite having done nothing, everybody clearly agrees that Bruce would still, at least in part, be responsible for Joker's death.
...And to me, this moment is a kind of- microcosm, of the rest of Jason's point. Because after being captured and carted off to Arkham, the villain will escape again, and will kill more people. The only way to truly prevent that from happening would be to kill them; Bruce refuses to do so, and I respect his right to choose such a thing for himself, but it is still a choice, and if we agree that Bruce's inaction during the confrontation would leave him at least partly responsible for the Joker's death, then we must also agree that his inaction in permanently preventing the Rogues from killing more people means he is also, partly, responsible for all of those deaths.
#my dc posting#batman#dc#bruce wayne#jason todd#joker#uhh is this like analysis or meta#anyway. to me this is the message that scene sends#if we say bruce doing nothing would mean he assisted in the murder of joker then bruce doing nothing about the villains means he is also#responsible for those deaths#ANYWAY yes b4 you come at me;;#bruce's belief in rehabilitation and that everyone can get better is central to his character#and i love it and no i dont actually think he should kill the rogues or whatever#but the question there is. Are you fine with the future victims your decisions will cause?#Are their lives worth the slim chance any of these people will get better?#batman says yes theyre worth it. red hood says no theyre not.#thats the fundamental moral difference there#its why jason challenges the batman status quo#which is why he cant be harnessed well after his initial return bc comics can never truly escape that status quo#anyway i sure am having some thoughts for someone not that smart so if you disagree please tell me!!! just be civil or ill just block you <#...anyway this is another thing BTAS succeeds in bc i always feel like yes these villains do deserve yet another chance#despite what theyve done. bruce's belief in them doesnt feel stupid and naive#its abt what you yourself can live with. bruce can live w the deaths of the ppl the criminals he doesnt get rid of kill#and jason can live with killing those criminals and preventing further victims
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tranny freak :)
#Negativity#Transphobia#I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here#I am genuinely so much happier like this#Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever#All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive#I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool#And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades#What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy#What are you going through#Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely#Why are you so afraid of genuine connection#Why are you scared of people#Are you happy with your life right now#Do you like yourself#How much time do you spend doing this#Do you think the negativity might be getting to you#How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it#I'm really sorry#I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything#Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday#There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions#Kinda sad that you're missing out
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Last part for old GF sketches
(Actually, most of these aren't old at all, but their average is brought down by the last picture, which I drew back in August and kept forgetting to post)
#fanart#drawing#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#i wish more people talked about Ford's piano skills#and his shadow puppet skills#i forgot what i was thinking when i rushed these out#something about Ford only taking pride in his skills because of how other people (ie Stanley) appreciate them#and how he attributes everything exceptional about himself to his hands bc that's where his deepest insecurities/motivations come from#but that isn't something Stan or most people think about at all#but he also IS really talented#and so he gets this big fragile ego#stemming from his mother and brother's praise#but also filbrick's neglect#so it's like outside validation is a substitute/reminder of the people that really loved him#bht also he thinks he's different from them and better than them#but he does love them#and he likes making them proud because he likes seeing them happy#maybe he doesn't know how else to make people happy#something something#Stan being his biggest supporter is a double edged sword#because his opinion matters the most and then he's gone#and Ford doesnt have anyone to show off to anymore#OR anyone who can call him a showoff when he gets too into his own head#OR the person he was pitted against in the first place that made him feel special#because- knowingly or not- they always compared themselves#idk man#Ford is an interesting guy and his head fascinates me
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Saw a post a few days ago that said the Sith could lead the Jedi to the dark side by using lust alone.
That's just bullshit.
Ma'am the Jedi ain't catholic priests and they sure are not celibate, they are in far more polycules than a person can physically keep track of, to them nudity is just another aspect of a someone's being that's neither a taboo nor something shameful to be hidden away, and physical touch is just a way to show love (of any type) to others.
Yes they fuck nasty, they would have an impassible face while looking at the Sith undressing themselves, and then would look at those dark side titties and say "Saw and had far better last Thursday, can I go home now?"
And those who don't fuck by choice you say? They'd look the Sith in the eyes and say "You really think you're that special uh?"
I don't care what you allos say, Jedi would not be led to the dark side with a fuck, come on.
Yes this is a hill I'm ready to die on.
#and I'm saying all this as an aro/ace individual btw#already complained about this on the discord server#and decided to share my thoughts with you all as well#if a fuck can change you're entire moral compass buddy I have bad news about your mental stability#you allos are so fuckin strange when coming up with things like this#I always refuse to believe that there are people who actually think and feel these things#unfortunately I do know some people that are like this so my hopes are in vain....#really random thoughts#star wars#jedi love#jedi order#jedi#sith
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the crows would have absolutely loved monopoly
#i feel so sad they never got to play#au where all they do. every day. is play monopoly#thats the heist thats the plot#them enjoying and bickering#all six of them#cuz all six are happy and alive#(im ignoring kiwi sorry guys)#kaz would get waaaaaay too into it#wylan would be incredible#he memorises the property names based off the colours#nina doesnt even care about winning she just buys the properties that kaz goes for#they never let jesper be banker even though he begs to be every time#the only person who can be banker is matthias#inej secretly moves her piece extra steps during other people's turns and only kaz realises#but he doesn't say anything even though he wants to win#the winner is almost always either kaz or wylan#inej comes close a few times#jesper has never once won but still claims he's best#nina tries to seduce matthias into giving her more money#it (almost) never works#soc#six of crows#ck#crooked kingdom#kaz#inej#kaz brekker#kanej#matthias helvar#jesper
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It was the weight of guilt that sent Icarus crashing down a second time; he wondered if he was always destined to be punished for loving something brighter than himself, even in death.
#mhmmmmmm ANGST#this was an overly ambitious piece…but in the spirit of icarus at least i tried B)#words are mine haha B)#inspired by all the juicy depressing tidbits we can glean from their dialogue#exhibit A: I always messed everything up…I just want to be useful to someone for once!#UM…BABY?!?!?#and don’t….dont even get me started on how mel and him run parallel to one another when it comes to feeling inadequate#like…she doesnt see how He sees her and vice versa..#god anyways ill save that for a whole crazy analysis post#hades 2#hades game#hades supergiant#hades fanart#melinoe hades#icarus hades#waxwitch
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day three mindset is maybe i could engage with canon compliant content too bc god their breakup was really juicy i hate that it's juicy
#i'll always be mad about the abruptness of it but god tommy pushing back everything he wanted with his own hands#buck gearing up to say ily and getting abandoned again#but this time it's not because the other person doesnt feel as much but because they DO feel TOO much#tommy coming back to buck for a second chance#buck being someone people come back for despite all their neuroses#buck being someone who's asked if HE could give them a second chance#i cant even look at the gifsets on my dash but i can imagine all this#mimi.txt#bucktommy
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Burning Rotten Bridges
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
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to the holes in my butterfly wings
#im a coward bc i couldnt see it unfold in real time :) once i saw the press release 40 mins before it went live i logged out of everything#its really hard to articulate how any of this feels because 15 year old kate lives in 22 year old kate's body#and shes been attached to that lovely fucking idiot for all her formative years#its like a part of my childhood just faded away overnight; just out of reach#its like when Roger Federer left they just dont tell you how devastating sports can be#the anger will come and it will be of the biblical variety#but for now im scared 22 yr old Kate and 15 yr old Kate cant console eachother#anyway i made this on the roadtrip back home. he means so much to me. always always. always.#f1#daniel ricciardo
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something bad’s about to happen to me
why i feel this way, i don’t know maybe
#tgaa#tgaa chronicles#tgaac#art#great ace attorney#the great ace attorney#dgs#fanart#herlock sholmes#sherlock holmes#dgs sherlock holmes#dai gyakuten saiban#lyric quotes#dark red by steve lacy#idk i had this visual stuck in my head for a couple of days#dgs2#dgs2 spoilers#i feel like after really marinating in whatever the fuck happened in 2-5 i have come to realize how scary this man is#i’ve been watching a play through to see if i can catch anything i couldn’t on my own play through and like#dude he drops so many hints and foreshadowing it’s fucking crazy how the fuck do you know all of this mr sholmes!!!!#he will always be a silly character but i cannot help but remember how genuinely unsettled i was by the way he acted at the end of 2-2#and also the time in the waxwork museum where he was questioned by susato and ryunosuke#where his trolling characteristics were basically implied to be a bit of an act#and i was like. damn. holy shit. because i almost fell for that act too. i almost believed him until he said smth like#‘but that won’t fly with you’ or something and ryunosuke affirmed it by saying that anyone else could’ve made a mistake but not mr sholmes#augh. he’s just a really good character ok
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Happy Birthday!!
TYSM FOR ALL THE BIRTHDAY WISHES! YOU GUYS ARE TOO KIND 😭💜
#ask reply#IM ACTUALLY floored over how much love and support yall have shown me#I WOULD of been happy with one birthday wish but yall blew it out of the water 😭#I can’t possibly reply to all of you but know I’ve read each one!!#I can never gage how much I am apart of a community#especially seeing I’m not particularly a social person which always worries me#BUT GUESS those worries are squashed cause I feel very accepted in now 😭#TYSM to all of you again#I hope I can keep making art yall enjoy for many years to come! 💜💜#it’s the very least I can do for all your kind words and endless support 💗
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